Conversation
Relationship Reset
A conversation that resets a strained working relationship by co-creating a happy future together — instead of trying to fix a broken present.
Reach for it when a working relationship — a direct report, a leader, a cofounder — has gone sour, and every conversation about it turns into arguing over what already happened. Fixing the past means litigating blame; both sides dig in and the relationship gets worse. The reset skips the trial entirely and asks a different question: what would working together well actually look like from here?
Co-creating a happy future > fixing a broken present. You don't have to agree on what went wrong to agree on where you're going.
How to run it
Get curious about what they want
For themselves and for their department. Not what they did wrong, not what you need from them — what do they actually want? Most strained relationships have never had this conversation.
Align it with what's good for the company
Connect their ambition to the company's needs. When what they want and what the company needs point the same way, the relationship has a shared direction instead of a standoff.
Co-create the definition of success
Write it together, out loud: what does success look like for them, for their department, for the two of you? Co-created means they own it — it isn't your standard being imposed on them.
Co-design the accountability systems
Check-ins, metrics, commitments — designed together. The move that makes it stick: get them to ask for it. Accountability they requested is support; accountability you imposed is surveillance.
The last step is the tell. If they're asking you to hold them accountable, the reset worked. If you're still the one chasing, you've fixed the words but not the relationship.
Source / credit
Outstride original
Related capabilities
Related tools
Work with Ben
Want help installing this?
Outstride OS is the system behind Ben's founder coaching — pre-seed to Series C. If this page names something you are living right now, start a conversation.