Conversation
How to Let Someone Go
The decision is made. This playbook is for the conversation — stated cleanly, reasons concrete, dignity intact, and the risks planned before you walk in.
The bar for the decision itself sits upstream of this page: if it's not a hell yeah, it's a no (Derek Sivers's rule). And the Accountability Dial is the road that should have led here — explicit stages, a number and a date, so nobody in this meeting is surprised, including you. Once you're through that bar, the worst thing you can do is treat the conversation as one more discussion.
Prep the call
Write the three things you want to get across and the three emotions you want to bring into the room — the 2-Minute Hard Convo Prep.
Protect the company first
If there's any risk of harm — a developer with production access, a seller holding the client relationships — make the plan before the meeting: access ready to cut, handovers mapped. Quietly, and hopefully never needed.
State that the decision has been made
Open with it, clearly. Do not give them any reason to think this is still being considered — false hope in this meeting is cruelty, not kindness.
Give the why, concretely
Your prepared bullet points, delivered as SBI — situation, behaviour, impact. "You didn't perform well" is an opinion; concrete examples are reasons.
Offer questions now — and a debrief tomorrow
They can ask anything now, but suggest they take a day to process the news and book a proper debrief call for the next day. Nobody hears well in the minutes after this.
Co-create the narrative
Give them a say in how it's told: "I'd be happy to share that this was a mutual decision with the rest of the team." It costs you nothing and preserves a lot for them.
Be generous on the way out
Decide what you can offer before they have to ask: gardening leave, references, introductions.
Run the exit interview
In the debrief call. Someone with nothing left to lose is one of the most unfiltered views of your company you will ever get — ask real questions and just listen.
Even if you do everything right, this might not be pleasant — expect that, and don't read it as failure. The most load-bearing sentence is your first one: this decision has been made.
Source / credit
Outstride original
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